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What If You Met a Console at a Party

Charles King on January 31, 2013 - 10:55 pm in Opinion

It’s Friday night, and you just got paid. Instead of a night of gaming you decide to attend a party. You walk into the front door and all of sudden you see video game consoles among the crowd. After the shock of human-sized consoles holding drinks subsides, you walk over to mingle with them wondering what kind of personality they would have.

Warning: The following was conceived out of pure fun. If the following consoles come across like someone you wouldn’t want to share a beer with, then you aren’t intoxicated enough.

Xbox 360: The Trendy Rich Kid.

The 360 has enough money to keep the party stocked with alcohol, drugs, and any other vice with a hefty price tag. Unfortunately it is only done for the sake of popularity. He keeps us with the latest trends and fashions but ends up coming off like a possible cast member of Jersey Shore. The 360 is still lots of fun to be around and can advertise his personality very well, but don’t be surprised when he is charging you to attend his next kegger being held in his upscale condo.

PS3: The Oblivious Overachiever.

Sony is the guy who everyone knew would be great at whatever he set out to do, but his arrogance reminds you why he isn’t regularly congratulated. However, he is a unique individual so talking to him is an exclusive experience in itself. With a drink in one hand and his head in the clouds thinking about the future, he tends to overlook what’s going on in front of him. This leads to simple party fouls being made like ignoring the beautiful woman hitting on him, or only reciprocating when she is leaving the party with the 360. Her lose, or at least that is what he is telling himself.

Wii U: The Socially Awkward “Man Child”.

The Wii U is the guy that everyone knows and has seen around town. He is pretty popular and generally a fun guy. Unfortunately he really doesn’t know how to connect in the here-and-now with his fellow party goers. He comes across a little awkward but not to the point where he will be thrown from the party for it. Did I mention his mom drove him to the party, and that he has told the same stories since 1983?

Notable Mention: I would include the PC, but he has better things to do with his precious time than hang out at social gatherings with “them”.